8 Church Field: There's No Place Like Home... - Stuart Keane

I am one of those readers who often enjoys the company of a number of authors and stories at anyone time. As well as reading "8 Church Field There's no place like home" I am also perusing" Bazaar of Bad Dreams" by Stephen King. There could be no greater comparison than these two stories and indeed these two authors; one is a literary legend of the last 40+ years and the other well if I was to tell you that 8 Church Field is probably the third worst book I have ever read (the others being, Night of the Nazi Zombies, and 77 Days in September) then perhaps you can guess the direction this review is going.

 

We are introduced to the loathsome Elliott family; a foursome who only exist for their individual pleasure at the expense of everyone and everything else, and into their life comes "Jack" who will teach them the ways of the right and the just....and that's the plot for what it's worth. The writing is terrible, the characterization non existent, descriptions that could have been penned from the mind of a teenager......"and counting the globs of mushy cerebral tissue that rolled down the stiff fabric. He saw pink skull fragments of all shapes and sizes, several knots of dark muscle, and a pulpy string of severed optic nerve, which dangled from the middle of the material like a dead worm."  The only reason I felt this short story was worthy of 1 star as compared to no stars!, was the revelation contained in the last few pages that sparked a little interest in me but of course all this paled into insignificance when set against the previous 98% of the story which was utter balderdash, gobbledygook, hogwash and poppycock. I only wish that when Jack was introduced he not only dealt with "The Elliotts" but also all those reviewers who felt this story worthy of 5 stars and indeed the author who had the audacity to put such rubbish in print and charge me 99p for the privilege of reading it!